2006 WOTS QUARTERFINALISTS

Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that we present to you this list. Writers on the Storm received 907 submissions--outstanding for a first-year-contest--and even more remarkable was how many GOOD scripts there were. We had a LOT of considers and recommends--over 20% of our submissions! Maybe that's because a lot of you guys are Coverage, Ink clients and have been working to develop and hone your scripts. Whatever the reason, a lot of scripts rocked the house!

To everyone on this list, a big congratulations. We will be reading your scripts again in the semifinal round. To all of you folks who didn't make the quarterfinals, don't get discouraged! Sometimes success is just a quick polish or maybe a class or a script analysis away. And to that end, we plan on sending out the mini-analyses on every submission by June 9th. . We will announce the semifinalists June 20th.

And don't forget that everyone who entered Writers on the Storm gets $10 off any Coverage, Ink analysis throughout 2006!

Without further ado, we proudly present the WOTS quarterfinalists. Nice work, everyone!

2012 by Susan Yeich
2 Bedroom 2 Bath by Scott Liapis
4-1-9 by Jake Van Vuuren
50-50 by Robert Henry Hill
58 Nights by Irving de la Concha
Absolution for the Innocent by John Heim
Adelitas by Sarah Vaill
A Family Dream by Constance Brenner
Age Before Beauty by Doris Gill
All the Stars In the Heavens by William Stoddard
American English by Phil Swinburne
Amputation Station by Richard Smith
Amy's Porch by Jennifer Buttell-Kersey
Ariadne's Thread by Stephen Callen
Attack of the Toaster! by Greg Quinn
Balls of Different Sizes by Robert Tobin & Leslie Coogan
Beneath The Mask by Robin Warder
Black Rising Sun by Susan Yeich
Blonds by Elizabeth Winstead
Blood Brothers by Patrick Wier
Blood of Angels by Reay Jespersen
Bloody Mary by Erica Land
Blue Notes by Vishal Reddy
Booker T. by J. Hol
Boys In Red by Jeffrey Davis
Broad Daylight by David Leonard
Broken English by Alexander Stirling
Broken Heartland by Greg Daubenspeck
Brutes by Mark Glinski
Bull Riders Only by Melinda May
Bury The Lead by Maureen Murphy
Butcher #57 by Lando Barbagli
Chasing Stephen Spielberg by Robert Tobin
Clear Heels by Dave Cooper
Colter's Hell by Robin Russin
Community Sports by Tom Thompson
Constantine the Great by David Mulholland
Cost of Living by Kellen Hertz
Cougar Run by Sean Kelly
Count Her Clock Wise by Christopher Canole
Crush On You by Maria Lusby
Danny Longlegs by Kelly Rowley
Dead End by Christopher Fry
Dead Man Running by Terence Loose
Demon Slayer by Anthony Pindrock
Diamond Trust by Tim Rosenow
Dimmesdale by Doug Molitor
Divorce In The White House by Dane Edward McCauley
Double Bind by Greg Daubenspeck
Driver Ed by Bill Ward
Echoes of Tiananmen by William Flannigan
Empire of the Wolf by Michael Kogge
Every Time I Go To Staten Island by Irin Evers
Exposure of War by Kevin Caruso
F*Stop by Roberta Degnore
Far From The Tree by Mary Batchellor
FATS by Mitchel Resnick
Felix The Flyer by Christopher Canole
Film As Literature by James Merrill
Finding Center by Richard Rossner
Finding Love At Mardi Gras by Anna Maganini
Fire and Rain by Phil Smy
Fire Ants by Daniel Barwick
Fishtown by Aaron Schnore
Forces Unseen by Curt Nickels
Fortunate Sons by Roy Schmitz
From the Old World by Adam Mosher
Fury by Dane Edward McCauley
Game Night by Chris DelliCarpini
G.I. Samurai by Carlton Saito
Good Ole Boy Band by Jason Ancona
Good Television by Matt Dallman
Healing Marie by James Ossi
Heavens to Betsy by Brad Hennig
He's A Winner by Warren Clarke
Hellsville by David Agranoff
High and Low And In Between by Suzanne Carney
Hopper by David Kurtz
Humanimal by Tim Wells
Hung Jury by Jason Siner
In Search of Captain Childe by Heather Rose
Ink by Eric Anderson & Scott Smith
Invasion of the Pod People by Craig Proudly
Iron Men by John Metzner
Jackie's Girls by Joan Kufrin
Jerusalem Idol by Lewis Papier
Jocks & Geeks by Marla Brandon
Jonathan's Missing by Leslie & Michael Green
Kakakarma by Carlota Bennett
Kingbird & Franklin by Donald Adams
Lady Jazz by Jean Hunter
Life Is What You Make it by Russell Dye
Looks That Kill by Robert Gemmill
Lost Souls by Bryan Carrigan
Love Conquers All by Dane Edward McCauley
Love Unexpected by Antoinette Ojeda
Lurch's Friends by Larry Boodry
Magick by Jeff Spry
Manhunters by Don Perez
Masque by Kellen Hertz
Miracles by Zack Heath
Mirror Mirror by Douglas Hall
Mister Perfect by Carri Karuhn
Mock Trial by Alex Lerner
NightStop by Tom Zambrano
Play With Fire by Karen Mobayed
Pool Guy by Saena Yi
Princess Reborn by Lee Tidball
Projekt Outcast by Dennis Shutty
Purr by Dave Hackett
Quiet Storm by Marc Kravitz
Rap Mitzvah by Jacqueline Frazier
Rational Panic by Robert Rhyne
Reality Show by Sara Denson
Red & Dead by Patrick Udomsak
Richard by Kathryne Sheard
Rise by Jason Crittenden
Rochester by Terry Frazier
Rotten by Hal Jordan
Sandscape by Joe Lam
Sandwiches & Chips by Ritchard Shadian
Santa Ana Winds by Paul Jarnagin
Scent by Ronald DiPrimio
Sculpting Acacia by Richard Abercrombie
Second Chance Dog by Mark O'Neill
Sherlock & Jack by Jeff Wolverton
Shroud of Darkness by Max Adams
Shuffle Hustle by Kevin Lewis
Smashed by Lisa Dahlseid
Sole Pursuit by Jason Siner
Songs For The Dead by Mark Tompkins
Sons of Illusion by Adriana Cepeda
Soul Calling by Victoria Sambursky
Spitting Image by Andrew Smith
Spring Break by Murray Spitzer
Stars and Bars by Troy DeRego
Stick & Stones by Kathryne Sheard
Stuck in the 80s by Seth Argabright
Sultana by Laqueta Lewis
Ten Shots of Tequila by Ted Gurich
Terror Alert by Bernie Felix, Jr.
The Art of Deception by Kevin Caruso
The Art of the Dodge by Donna Miller
The Backup by Anthony Sclafani, Jr.
The Beneficiary by Marshall Thornton
The Big Four Oh by Bernie Felix, Jr.
The Brick Layer by Laqueta Lewis
The Contest by Elizabeth Winstead
The Crescent City by Cathy Krasnianski
The Curse of Nostradamus by Robert Williams
The Dark Radius by Frederick Kim
The Dollmaker by Ned James Beedie
The Domain by Michael Raymond
The Essence of Anarchy by Brian Ivey
The Essence of Emily by Jack Brinkerhoff
The Fickle Pickle by Eric Johnson
The Fraternity by Jeff Wiegand
The Fun In Funeral by Mario Mojico
The Good War by Murray Spitzer
The Great Quest by Steve Weissman
The Joshua Device by John Connell
The Kray Survivors by Ronald Randolph
The Last Act by Nathan Perkins
The Last Campaign by Parrish Griggs
The Last Flight of The Blackbird by David Cooper
The Last Princess by Jacquelyn Prell
The Last Sky by Barbara Senatore
The Long Night by Barry Barclay
The Magick of Time by Patricia Joyce
The Man Behind The Man by Michael Brand
The Maple Gods by Lisa Judge
The Mothership by Scott Shackelford
The Newly Dead Game by David Warfield
The Perfect Proposal by Phil Olson
The Rut by Kevin Caruso
The Second Coming by Leroy Bryant
The Secret of the Smile by Robin Russin
The September Issue by Jeremy Vogel
The Stunning Box by David Bertoni
The Walk-Ons by Alexander Drummond
The Want Ad Widow by Sharon Shipley
The Rock of Abandon by Stephen Blackburn
Time Shift by Richard Joslyn
Time Surfer by Sandi Steinberg
Timing by Anthony Sclafani Jr.
TJ by Don Grail
To Dream of Life by Bradley Duncan
Tony See and The Salvador Deception by Russell Riggins
Top Story by Alberto Valenzuela
Tray People by Fred Pakiewicz
Trio by John Zussman
Tsunami Warning by Carlton Saito
Tunnel Rats by Robert Marks
Two Kings by Jason Wall
Tyler Hudson's Christmas Eve Adventure by Carol Hoffman
Ultraviolet Child by James Ossi
Vincent's Shadow by Don Perez
Viral by Mark Kratter
Voyage To Freedom by Larry Hedaa
War of the Galaxies by Thomas Eng
Warrior Pride by Fred Maske
Witness Creek by Ross Buckner
Worse Than Prison by Rick McCormick
Year of the Hangman by David Russotto
You're Invited by Jennifer Barrow
Zebalun by Peter Rex Wilkes
Zelko by James Dickson

STAND BY...

We've been working through the night to get all the scripts read by May 31st. And we did it. We will be posting the Writers on the Storm quarterfinalists WEDS 5/31.

We'll also announce the quarterfinalists in our newsletter which will go out in the next few days and post them on our websites.

Sit tight, folks!

--Jim Cirile

ALMOST THERE...

Hey, guys! We know you're all waiting on those contest results. We just wanted to let you know that we're almost done. We expect to post the Writers on the Storm quarterfinalists pretty soon. We received a lot of entries, more than double what most first-time contests receive, and so we've been working overtime to get those scripts read and to write mini-evaluations for every one.

Most of the Coverage, Ink submissions (for analysis) submitted before the contest deadline have already been read, and we've been able to give several folks the good news that they've made it to the quarterfinal round. And while obviously not everyone can advance, we're pleased that all of you guys have been telling us how much your writing has improved from working with our analyses and making those revisions. There's always Writers on the Storm II, folks... it's never too early to start getting ready ;) (Okay, maybe it is too early--we had one fellow ask us if we were going to start up the contest again in June '06. Er, no on that one. Check back in January '07.)

One other thing to remember: even if you do not advance to the QFs, every entrant receives a mini-analysis, PLUS $10 off any Coverage Ink script analysis for the rest of 2006--so everyone's a winner. To claim your $10 discount just mention "WOTS contestant" on your Coverage, Ink order form.

Check back here soon for more, and GOOD LUCK, everyone!

Is Your Spec a Spec?

Cast a critical eye on your script with this handy quick reference guide from Coverage, Ink founder Jim Cirile.

So you got yer 128 pages of genius all ready to send to your agent or manager or even that producer’s assistant’s plant guy you met at last year’s Wombat Walloping Festival. Hold, young varlet! Run through this quick checklist of common mistakes BEFORE sending it out.

CAN YOUR DEPTH OF CHARACTER BE MEASURED IN MILLIMETERS?

Great actors will fight to play someone who is complex, richly detailed and interesting. Giving the character back story, family, friends, hobbies, quirks, peccadilloes, idiosyncrasies, etc., goes a long way towards building a multidimensional person that we want to watch a movie about. Does he or she have a dramatic flaw or a goal? What personal problem does this character need to solve? How does he arc or change? What does he learn during the course of the story, and how does it enable him to resolve his internal AND external issues? As Michael Lent incisively observed in a recent column, if your script is under 95 pages, that should be an immediate red flag—what’s likely missing is depth of character, which needs to be established in the form of character-defining scenes in Act 1.

WE’RE ALL CLAIRVOYANT WHERE FORMULAIC SCRIPTS ARE CONCERNED

Whenever you find your story heading in a predictable or cliché direction, do exactly the opposite thing than what the formula dictates. That will keep your writing fresh and give the reader that much-longed-for “surprise on every page.” If a reader can foresee where the plot is obviously going, you can bet her interest will evaporate like a saucer of isopropyl in the Gobi. So throw the reader a few curve balls. Use formula to your advantage. Know that at a certain time, formula will dictate a certain plot beat will happen. Then don’t do it. Do something completely different instead. Nothing makes a jaded reader love a script more than dashing their expectations! But that doesn’t mean they’ll love some contrived, ludicrous plot beat just because it breaks the mold. It still has to be logical--just unexpected.

(checkbox graphic) SHOULD YOUR EXECUTION BE EXECUTED?

Beware WORDINESS. A screenplay is not a novel. An overwritten script is not going to win you any points. Use the FEWEST WORDS POSSIBLE to convey your idea. Comb your script for redundancies in dialogue and scene description, and excise all unnecessary words/sentences/paragraphs/pages. Go through it line by line, asking yourself “Do I need every word in this sentence?” Remember, brevity is the soul of wit. Some good writer wrote that.

Producer Dan Ostroff once said that a poorly written script with a great story is worth a lot more than a well-executed one with a poor idea. But there aren’t too many of those see-the-forest-for-the-trees folks out there. You might be a natural storyteller who can hold a roomful of people captivated, but if you struggle with composing a sentence and don’t understand the concept of subject/verb agreement, you should probably consider finding a writing partner.

THE $50 MILLION QUESTION

Is your script sponge—er, movie-worthy? Is the central idea one that you can see millions of people spending ten bucks to see? The toughest note a reader can give is “Even the best-executed version of this story would likely not interest any producers.” Remember that the studios and even indies are specifically looking for projects that have a strong hook or bring something new to the table. Your straight-forward serial killer thriller isn’t going to interest anyone, because that theme is tired, your script brings nothing new to the genre, and the buyers can always adapt a James Patterson novel if they need a serial killer thriller to fill their slate. Similarly, your fantasy adventure movie with the enormous budget... why would any studio spend $100 million to make your movie when they can adapt a bestseller with its built-in audience? If it takes you six months to think of a unique, high-concept, commercial idea, then take the time. You’ll know when you have The Idea when you pitch the one-liner to someone and his eyes light up.

MICRO VS. MACRO

Get pro-level input on your script from your agent, manager, producer, a script analyst or coverage service. You ARE doing that, aren’t you? All scripts need work. How well the writer is capable of putting aside ego and implementing notes has everything to do their likelihood of being successful. More often than not, the writer will fix only the easiest notes, for example: “the dialogue on page 87 was a bit on the nose,” yet will ignore “our lead vanishes for 36 pages, leaving insignificant secondary characters to pass the time with small talk.” Oftentimes significant changes need to be made. They may require tossing out an entire act, completely rethinking a main character, etc. In short, they may require for you to DO SOME WORK.

ON THE NOSE

LET'S SAY Someone tells you that your writing is "on the nose." You nod your head and go, "Uh, okay." But if you're like most folks not "in" on the Hollywood shorthand, you have no idea what this means. So I'm going to lay it out right now.

"On the nose" simply means that in your dialogue, people say exactly what they're thinking.

Unless you're writing Data or Spock, that's generally not so great. In real life, people tend to avoid saying what they really think. They talk in circles, they hint, suggest, say things elliptically or simply with a look. Maybe they even say the exact opposite of what they mean, sometimes sarcastically, sometimes not.

Look at these two dialogue excerpts. The first is quite on the nose. The second is not. Which is better dialog?

RYAN
Are you accusing me of stealing?

JODY
Well, I do jump to conclusions
a lot. But you seem generally
untrustworthy, and I'm still
gun-shy from my disastrous
failed marriage, so yes, I am
accusing you of stealing.

Hmm. Or how about this:

RYAN
Are you accusing me of stealing?

JODY
Huh? Of course not! I just...
No, no, definitely not.

Jody sighs, uncertain.

Obviously the second example sounds a bit more authentic, and less stupid to boot... although the first version could work for a quirky character in a comedy.

You want your dialogue to sound like something a human might actually say, right? Read it ALOUD. Have a friend read it with you. Does it flow naturally? Does it seem clunky? How would you rephrase it into something perhaps not so on the nose, but that still gets the meaning across? Remember you can use all sorts of tricks--a coy look, a roll of the eyes, a dismissive wave, a sigh, biting of the lip, a raised eyebrow, etc.

And then even when someone explains it to you, more confusion inevitably follows. So is it ever okay to write on the nose? The answer is YES.

Here's the rule of thumb: There are two places in the script you should be right on the nose in your dialogue. The first is when you're describing your protagonist in the first ten pages. You want to make sure people GET what your protagonist's dramatic flaw is--the problem he's going to arc out of by the end of the story. So it doesn't hurt, for example, to have a supporting character say about the protagonist...

GEORGE
Man, Ryan might really get ahead
if he didn't keep shooting himself
in the foot with his
holier-than-thou attitude.

Smack! Yep, that one probably deviated someone's septum it was so on the nose. Yet it's often necessary. Even if we SEE (and we should) several instances of Ryan's aforementioned behavior, it's often necessary to "hit it hard" and state the dramatic need clearly. This is so folks GET IT. It also tells you what the theme of the story is, or what the story will REALLY be about--George's evolution into a better person.

The other time we want to be on the nose is when we're telling folks exactly what the plot is, or in other word's, the protagonist's goal. This generally comes at the end of Act 1 and propels us into Act 2, like this:

RYAN
Fine. I'll get your damn prize-winning
Cavalier King Charles Samoyed back
to Anchorage in time for the fricking
dog show, all right? And no bounty hunters
or representatives from FEMA are going
to stop me!

There you have it--very succinctly we have the protagonist tell us exactly what he intends to spend the next two acts of the movie attempting to accomplish. No beating around the proverbial bush here. Hit that puppy on the nose.

One other time you might want to be on the nose: in your description. Keep in mind that the "on the nose" note generally applies only to dialogue. Your description should be lean and clear. You do not want to risk losing anyone by being cute or sarcastic or evasive.

Now get back to writing, folks! (I know I won't. See piece on procrastination below...)

--Jim Cirile

That's a Wrap!

It's all over except the shouting.

As I write this, it's 12:15 AM on May 7th. Writers on the Storm is now officially closed. The contest exceeded all our expectations. We blew past the number of entries of most first-year contests (with plenty more to arrive by mail over the next couple of days) and quite a few established ones. That's good news for everybody--it means that the industry will sit up and take note, and it also means that we'll be able to bring Writers on the Storm back to you again next year, bigger, badder and beefier.

But the best news of all is that our coordinators tell me that they have been blown away by the quality of the submissions overall. According to coordinator Portia Jefferson, our ratio of good scripts to so-so ones is much better than any other contest she's ever worked on. Hopefully this means you guys are true students of the craft, always striving to improve--and the results are on the page.

Right now we're in the process of reading all the submissions. This is going to take a bit of time since we have to provide mini-analysis on each submission. But we still plan on announcing quarterfinalists on 5/31. Check this blog or www.writerstorm.com for updates.

So from the WOTS/Coverage Ink team to everyone who entered--a hearty THANK YOU for helping to make Writers on the Storm a smash hit. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to e-mail us at wotscompetition@aol.com.

You guys rock!

--Jim Cirile

Procrastination... Is Making Me Wait

Right now I am not writing.

Oh, it FEELS like I'm writing. I'm behind my computer. My fingers are clacking away on my Saitek Eclipse backlit keyboard. I've got my e-mail open in another window, which somehow in my mind is vaguely related to writing. And heck, I'm writing something about... well, not writing.

When it comes to procrastination, I am the master. I must eliminate every single last thing that can be done before I can even open Final Draft. First, of course, there's e-mail. Then there's phone calls to return. Then there's a mess in the kitchen. Then there's political blogs to read, online petitions to sign, scores to check. My daughter's fingerprints on my monitor need to be Windexed off. And oh, crap, I have to begin cooking supper (okay, it's 1 PM, but preparation is all.)

Before you know it, I've burned up most of my allotted 4 hours of writing time I give myself 3 times a week. Which is bad, because I've got deadlines. My column is always due next week. I'm not sure how, since I only have to deliver it every two months, yet it always seems to be due next week. I've got a screenplay due in 5 weeks. I have three rewrites on other scripts that I really should get to. Folks are waiting for those, too.

Sigh. Okay, I will. As soon as I have lunch. And go get my car washed. And scrub my toilet.

Something tells me I'm not alone. Could that be? Are there OTHERS of you out there who are in fact reading this basically as an excuse to not be writing? For shame! Close your web browser this instant and go write! In fact, if your write it on a blog, send me the link so I can read it and... not... be writing. Oh, never mind.

--Jim Cirile

WRITERS ON THE STORM contest update

An update from contest coordinator Portia Jefferson:

I've been impressed with the quality of entries thus far in the contest. Many of our readers have read for the top contests in town, and they have all been surprised at the quality of scripts Writers On The Storm has received. Many of the story premises are not only fresh and unique, but they have a great deal of commercial potential. The winning scripts for most contests tend to be dramas (usually period pieces) that deal with historical events, historical figures or serious issues in the world. While we too like well-written scripts in this genre, what sets us apart is that we are giving equal weight to comedies, broad comedies, romantic comedies, horror films, thrillers and other genre films. We are looking for great scripts that people will actually want to go see. We know the marketplace and we definitely are looking for a script that can, and will, sell. And we are going to do everything in our power to help our winning writer do so.

So, keep sending in comedies, thrillers, and genre scripts. We are eager to read them all.

A couple of tips from our readers to help make a good impression on them:

-- BRADS MATTER. Use three-hole-punch paper, with a white cardstock cover and backing. Use TWO brads - Acco 1 ¼ inch solid brass fasteners are the norm. You're right if you think it's a minor issue and that it shouldn't have any affect on the reader. But, unfortunately, first impressions matter, and if the writer doesn't have the script bound in the proper way, then we tend to think that they don't know much about proper structure either. It's trivial… but do it.

-- PROTAGONIST. We want to meet the protagonist by page three. AND we want to know WHO the protagonist is and what his or her goal is. This is the number one flaw with most scripts - it's either hard to identify the protagonist OR it's hard to identify the protagonist's goal. Make it crystal clear.

-- ACTION BLOCKS. Keep them short. Three to four lines at the most. If we see THICK, CHUNKY action blocks, we get bummed out. As a reader, it's awful to turn a page and see a BIG chunk of action. Break it up, make sure there's plenty of white space on the page. Make the script easy to read.

-- CONFLICT. Make sure there is conflict on every page of your script. The worst scripts have scenes with characters simply chatting to each other. If a scene does not move the story forward AND expand our understanding of the characters, then either rework it or cut it.

-- PARENTHETICALS. Don't over use these. Basically, you should only use them if you need to tell the reader whom a character is speaking to. If you have to tells us what the character is feeling, thinking or doing, then there is something wrong with the dialogue. The mood/emotions of the character should be evident by the dialogue. The first thing actors do when they get a script is to cross out the parentheticals. Let actors act!

-- DON'T DIRECT. Don't use "we see" in the script. Don't put in camera movements or credit sequences. Don't tell us what song is playing in a scene unless it is critical to the action of a scene. Don't use "cut to". Again, keep it lean, mean...

-- ENDING. Make it strong, memorable.

That's it... We are excited by the writers from across the country who have submitted scripts. Some writers outside LA have written to tell us that they feel that all contests favor writers that live in LA. NOT true. We are looking for great writing, great scripts... period. As a matter of fact, LA writers sometimes write about similar subject matter and set their scripts in... LA. So it's refreshing to get scripts/stories that have unique settings and to read writers with unique voices.

Good luck to everyone!!

WHERE'S THE CONFLICT?

by Greg D’Alessandro

I can’t take it anymore. As a reader in this town for over five years, I’m constantly asking myself the above question. A great number of scripts I read (professional and amateur) are lacking, if not devoid, of conflict. No overall dramatic tension and no dramatic tension in the scenes. When I read scene after scene of characters chatting with each other, talking about their iPods, the hot guy in the room, orange juice etc. – no matter how clever, witty or poetic – I want to hurl the script across the room. Actually, I DO hurl the script across the room. Conflict is a basic tenet of dramatic writing that goes back to Aristotle. A story without conflict is… the phonebook! Please, please… don’t write ANY scenes they are lacking strong dramatic conflict. This is what makes scenes come alive. This is what makes your story a page-turner. This is what makes the reader want to keep reading and the viewer want to keep watching. And, most importantly, this is what keeps me sane!

Let’s look at overall dramatic tension first. David Howard, the Founding Director of USC’s acclaimed Graduate Screenwriting Program, has defined ALL stories this way: “somebody wants something badly and is having difficulty getting it.” Simple, right? Wrong. You’d be surprised by the number of writers who can’t tell you WHAT the protagonist in their story wants, let alone WHY they are having difficulty getting it. The “what” can be discussed in a future article – and boy THAT’S a big topic - but with regard to conflict, answering the WHY will help the writer determine what the primary conflict is in the story. WHY is your protagonist having difficulty getting what they want? What are the OBSTACLES that are preventing them from achieving their goal?

It’s not a bad idea to list the obstacles that your protagonist faces in the story. Usually, there are at least five obstacles standing in the way of the protagonist. One of those obstacles is always the protagonist himself, because he or she has an arc. He or she is on transforming from a personality into a person, and is struggling internally with regard to the goal he or she is seeking. The other obstacles are external (mountains to climb, boyfriends to dump, aliens to eat, etc.). And, of course, you have antagonist(s) who are actively trying to stop the protagonist from getting what he or she wants (Darth Vader, The Wicked Witch of the West, Angelina Jolie, etc.) So make sure you know what the overall conflict is for your story. What does your protagonist want? What is preventing him from getting it? Make sure you can answer these questions simply and specifically.

Scenes. This is where the biggest problems are. Writers don’t “build” scenes like they should. Instead they write scenes that are “entertaining” or “clever” or “cool.” Yeah they’re cool, but they’re also… boring! Why? Because there’s no conflict! Writers sometimes balk at the suggestion of adding conflict to a scene because they think that conflict means two or more characters have to physically attack each other or they need to be screaming at each other. No, no, no. Conflict merely means that there are two (or more) characters in the scene that have opposing wants or intentions. Writers need to look at scenes from an actor’s perspective. Actors need to have an “intention” in a scene or else there’s nothing for them to play – they become part of the scenery. A dramatic scene is a story. It has a beginning, a middle and an end. And it has a character who “wants something badly but is having difficulty getting it.” Sound familiar? The protagonist in the scene has an overall goal for the story, yes, but in the scene at hand, he or she is taking one step on their journey to that goal and is encountering an obstacle that is preventing him or her from advancing. So, as Hal Ackerman the co-chair of UCLA’s MFA Screenwriting Program suggests, when writing a scene ask yourself this question: “what does my character want, and what is he doing NOW to get it?” Also ask yourself, “WHO is opposing the character in this scene”? If you identify what EACH character in a scene wants BEFORE you write the scene, it will make writing that scene much easier and it will ensure that you have a dynamic, dramatic scene.

Here’s an insider tip. After reading a script, I usually flip through it, stopping randomly at ten different pages. If there’s no conflict on five or more of those pages I IMMEDIATELY give the script a PASS. If there’s conflict on all ten pages, then I know the writer knows what he or she is doing and assume the story must be good as well. And guess what? I’m always right. Great writers write great scenes. And great scenes ALWAYS have strong conflict.

So, where’s the conflict? On EVERY single page of a script. No exceptions!

I Hate Contests

Seriously.

Never liked 'em much, never trusted 'em.

Okay, sure, there are some contests that will unquestionably help you if you win. I went to an awards dinner about five years ago and sat at the same table with three Nicholl Fellowship top ten folks. The room was rife was industry types. Gale Anne Hurd was also seated at the our table. Producer Sid Ganis came over to say hello. And I asked the three winners about how things were going for them, and all of them said they were getting tons of meetings and offers to sign with big agencies and management companies.

Me, I entered a script into Nicholl 11 years ago. I only made the quarterfinals, but I actually got a manager off it. Out of the blue, I got a call from this start-up management company (a pair of former UTA agents) who were hustling for new clients. They read my action script and signed me.

Okay, that's a good contest.

Then there are the others.

I've entered quite a few of them over the years, and in general, disappointment and a depleted bank account were the only results. Of course, that's to be expected, right? Not everyone can win. But it wasn't that long ago that I had a script make the top ten of a contest that I shall not name here. I only found out I'd placed 6th through a friend's chance web search, and he called me up and said, "Dude!" The contest management did not even bother to notify me. No prizes, not even postcard. Nothing.

Okay, that's a bad contest.

Talk about going from the sublime to the ridiculous. And so over the years I've entered several others. In a few of them I was eliminated in the first round; in others I made the top ten. One I even won (along with five others). But there was one thing all those non-Nicholl contests had in common:

Nothing ever happened because of them.

Okay, the one I won, I did get a few meetings with some low-level agents, and none of those guys seemed all that interested, frankly, in doing any actual work. But the others, nothing.

And so it was with these hesitations that Greg D'Alessandro--himself a multi-contest winner--and I sat down to brainstorm our own "nontest" which would eventually become Writers on the Storm. We agreed that never hearing anything back from a contest is hugely annoying. Contests like American Accolades and Slamdance give you feedback or coverage. So we decided to do the same--only cheaper. That's the second thing that bugged us about contests--the cost. That's one expensive lottery ticket.

But the single biggest thing is that: our contest had to mean something to the winner(s)' careers. And that's where we figured we could make a real difference. Because first off, we know some guys. So when we send the winners out with our recommendations, it will actually mean something to those folks. And second, since we're Coverage, Ink, we can use our team of pros to help the winning writer polish up that diamond to a blinding gleam before submitting it to the industry. Because if this thing does not pluck some writer from obscurity and launch their career, then what the hell is the point?

I still hate contests... but with any luck, after your winning script sells for $500K against a million, we'll raise the bar for all the other contests. That's what this is all about.

--Jim Cirile

WRITERS ON THE STORM DEADLINE EXTENDED!

Hi folks! Well, we went and did it. The deadline for Writers on the Storm has been extended from 4/15/06 to 5/6/06. That is our FINAL DEADLINE, and we will not accept any scripts submitted after that time.

Now it seems like every contest in the world extends at the very end. They generally wait until the last day and then spring it on everyone--and then they tack on an additional fee for the privilege of allowing you to submit after their deadline. Well, not us. When we decided to extend, we realized we'd better give people some notice. So we're announcing the extension a week ahead of our original deadline. Further, we are NOT tacking on any extra fee--entry is STILL a flat $35.

The reasons we decided to extend are twofold. First, we have heard from a LOT of folks that tax day (4/15) is a bad day to end a contest. A lot of folks are scrambling to get their taxes done (I'm one of them) and simply can't work on their scripts last minute like writers love to do. The other reason has to do with coinciding with the end of the semester for universities. There are a lot of folks taking classes who are finishing up their scripts over the next few weeks, and we want to make sure we're seeing the best, tightest, most polished scripts out there. We've already seen quite a few very good ones by the way.

So if you've already submitted, fear not--we're reading those scripts right now. If you haven't submitted yet, this gives you an extra 3 weeks to get that script polished.

And don't forget--if you submit your script to Coverage, Ink for analysis, it's automatically entered into the contest for FREE. If you get a Consider with Reservations or better for script, you're automatically a quarterfinalist. And if you do not, you still have time to make changes based on the analysis and resubmit--if you hurry!

Yep, Writers on the Storm is the ONLY contest that gives you a second chance--take advantage of it! And of course, may the best scripts win!

Does Your Logline Rock?

By Jim Cirile

I’ve been writing scripts for over a decade, but it wasn’t until I enrolled in the UCLA Professional Program that I learned there was actually a formula for writing loglines. I’d always thought that loglines should sum up your script in a sentence, and then for extra credit, you compare your script to two hit movies; for example, “HOMEBOYS ON THE RANGE--Three young hip-hop musicians inherit a busted-down ranch in Wyoming. It’s ‘City Slickers’ meets ‘House Party’!”

While that does convey the concept, what it does not do is get into the characterization of the protagonist or soul of the story. And those are key things people want to see, even in a two or three-line logline, and even when talking about a broad comedy.

A logline should be two to three snappy, concise sentences. You have to make every single word count. Don’t use extraneous verbiage. If a word can be cut without making the sentence ungrammatical or losing detail, then do it.

Also keep in mind that the tone and genre of your script should be immediately obvious from the logline. If we can’t tell it’s supposed to be a comedy from the logline and the title, go back and try again.

Now let’s break exactly what should be in each one of those sentences.

SENTENCE #1

Briefly describe your protagonist and his dramatic flaw right up front. The dramatic flaw is of course the internal problem which is preventing the hero from attaining his goal (yep, we all have them.) During the course of the movie, the hero will become self-aware of this flaw and should eventually overcome it. Mythologically speaking, the hero cannot overcome the EXternal conflict (the plot) until he overcomes his INternal conflict (dramatic flaw.)

It’s up to you if you want to include your protagonist’s name and age.

In the second half of the first sentence, we need to explain the protagonist’s predicament. Here’s how we do it:

>> HILDY STEIN (28), neurotic drama queen, is shocked to learn her ever-popular sister has inherited the entire family fortune.

>> After a drunk driving arrest, a self-absorbed, ultra-capitalist politician is sentenced to 120 days community service at a downtown food bank.

>> LEON WELLS (30), good ol’ boy and ardent homophobe, gets hit by a low-flying plane and is reincarnated as a gay aerobics instructor.

SENTENCE #2

Now that you’ve set up the predicament, you need to reveal what action the protagonist takes to rectify this problem. Let’s continue with the second sentence from each of the three examples above.

>> Determined to sabotage her sister, Hildy locks her sister away and, after a makeover, assumes her sister’s life.

>> Uncooperative to an extreme, he’s unprepared when he falls for a radical Marxist social worker out to change the world.

>> Barred from heaven until he changes his ways, Leon trains and provides counsel to his clients while fighting to keep his hostility in check.

SENTENCE #3

You’re almost there! So now it should be obvious what we need in the third sentence, right? We have to set up the big dramatic crisis the character must overcome and hint at possible character transformation (the arc.) Now let’s complete our examples.

>> But when Hildy learns her sister has been blackmailed by their half-brother for years, she overcomes her insecurities to join forces with her sister to take the half-brother down.

>> When the food bank is defunded by a former political ally, he pulls out all the stops to keep the doors open... and win the social worker’s heart.

>> But when Leon discovers one of his clients, famous leader of a Gay/Lesbian organization, is an embezzler, he has a big choice to make.

That’s all there is to it! Whip those loglines into shape, folks—you’ll need ‘em. If you post on inktip.com, send out queries, or place in the Writers on the Storm or AAA contests, those loglines will be what the industry judges you on. Nail the format and you will create a professional first impression. And that will help a LOT towards getting your script read.

By the way, I expect every one of you can writer better loglines than the ones I just did… sorry ;)

Open Thread

You may fire when ready! We're not afraid. Okay, maybe a little.

Writers on the Storm - The Blog!

We're hoping to roll out a significant increase in the Writers on the Storm prizes soon. We're adding some pretty neat new goodies. If you have any questions or comments, leave them here! Contest deadline is approaching fast -- April 15th.We're pretty encouraged so far. We're seeing some real good writing coming in. But of course there's still room for more!

Seriously, How the ^&*$!#$*^!(&*@ Do I Get an Agent?

Way back in October '04, I wrote this column for Creative Screenwriting. I think this one and its follow up, How Do I Get a Damn Manager? are solid pieces of advice. So check out what some of the top literary representatives in town have to say about this topic most near and dear to all of our hearts.

SERIOUSLY, HOW THE %&*@#$! DO I GET AN AGENT???

By Jim Cirile

Stop! Before you blast out another 150 e-mail queries, read this! Here at last is the comprehensive guide to finding yourself a rep, all in 1,500 words. Learn well as our esteemed panel of motion picture lit representatives lays out solid strategies for finding representation that actually work.

ADVISORY BOARD

Richard Arlook
The Gersh Agency

Nicole Clemens
International Creative Management

Emile Gladstone
Broder, Webb, Chervin & Silbermann

Graham KayeCreative Management Group
Julien ThuanUnited Talent Agency

You don’t.

Okay, that’s the flip answer. We all know that finding representation is notoriously hard.
While there were, at last count, 42.6 billion screenwriters out there, there are only a small handful of agents. They’re generally hustling for their clients 10-12 hours a day and then have scripts to read at night. Generally, they just don’t have the bandwidth to even think about reading unsolicited scripts. And think about it—if you are lucky enough to be represented, would you want your agent spending his time reading any old script that comes in over the transom? Heck, you’d want them to be spending their time finding you work. So the next time you whine about how hard it is to get anyone at Boffo 3-Letter Agency to read your masterpiece, remember the reasons these barriers are in place.

Okay, ready to go hunt some agent? Hold on thar, kemosabe. Your mom may think your script is the shizzbombdiggity, but does anyone else? It is critically important that you develop your script to the point where it’s good enough to send out first. “You have to have a group of confidants,” says UTA’s Julien Thuan. “In a perfect world, (these) are people who are actually in the business, and people who will be honest with you.” Manager Graham Kaye agrees: “To grow as an artist, you need to be able to accept the bad feedback with the good. It takes years to become a good writer.” But when you start getting raves from your friends, writing group, classmates or a coverage service, then load the rifle, and let’s go.

Let’s start with our old friend the query. Most of our panelists agree: they simply don’t work. “Save a tree. Do not do unsolicited letters. Do not send out spam e-mails. They are irritating,” says ICM’s Nicole Clemens. BWCS’s Emile Gladstone seconds that. “We don’t accept query letters. I’ve never signed anyone off of that.” Thuan says that rarely does a query pique his interest. “I can’t say never, because I’ve responded to some before. Generally, if I respond, it’s because the idea is interesting, or I think that the quality of the writing in the letter is really compelling. Sometimes people tell a story about themselves that gets your attention.”
Of course, junior reps may be more receptive than established ones. Kaye tells us about how when he was first starting out at HWA Talent, a script came across his desk that no one else in town would bother with. He read it, loved it, signed the writer. Ten years later, the script is now called I, Robot. “My good friend John Davis—I was in a meeting with him, and I said, ‘John, I sold that script.’ He was eating a bowl of almonds, and he slid the almonds over and said, ‘You did? Boy, you made me a lot of money. Here, have an almond!’” Kaye laughs. But he’s a bit less receptive nowadays. “Not to be egomaniacal, but everybody who’s on this panel—it takes lot of time and effort to break new talent. We don’t necessarily have to do that anymore. It’s extremely hard work, and we work hard enough. Why shouldn’t we enjoy the success of the years of time and energy we’ve put into building our reputations?”

Where exactly does that leave a writer then? It’s all about the referral. Clemens advises writers to “spend your time taking advantage of the six degrees of Kevin Bacon in this town. Find someone who knows someone who knows someone—someone’s cousin who knows someone’s intern who knows someone’s assistant. Get everybody to read your script. Cream rises.” Clemens adds that if her assistant or intern recommends something, or a development executive or manager calls her about a script, it will make it to the top of her pile. “But if somebody cold-calls me, I’m not taking their script.”

Gladstone says, “The most helpful advice I can give to a writer is not to be so fixated on finding an agent, but let the town work for you. Find a producer or find a champion.” Instead of querying agents, he recommends buying the Hollywood Creative Directory ($59.95, IFILM Publishing.) “Be a student of the business and find the producer that makes (the same type of movie that you’ve written,) and makes a lot of them. Then find the most junior person, the bottom of the list. They WANT to read. And when they find something they like, they call me or people that work for me. We get calls from those people, and they go to the top of the pile.” As proof this works, Gladstone signed two baby writers this year “with no credits and no nothing,” Clayton Surratt and David Johnson. Surrat’s script 342 sold to 2929 Entertainment, and Gladstone sold a pitch of Johnson’s to Paramount. “Clayton Surratt came to me from a lawyer and manager, and David Johnson came to me from a manager,” says Gladstone.
Which brings us to another useful strategy: getting a manager to get an agent. “This town is just brimming over with managers,” says Clemens. “They live to fill this niche. Managers are way more likely to read unsolicited stuff. In fact, especially the young ones, they’re scrounging around looking for clients. If a manager calls me about a client, I’m going to read him, if I trust the manager’s taste.” A comprehensive list of managers and agents can be found in the Hollywood Representation Directory ($64.95, IFILM Publishing.)

Contests, pitch fests and festivals may be another way to get noticed by the industry—or not. While our panelists pay attention to Nicholl, many of the rest are also-rans. “At the end of the day, the people judging contests are not the people working at Warner Bros.,” says Gladstone. “I’m not just looking for talent. I’m looking talent that wants to work in the studio system.” Gladstone also says that while junior agents at BWCS sometimes attend pitch fests and festivals, “no one’s ever signed anyone off of that. They do it more as a service, giving a little back to the community, or sometimes a free trip. I’ve gone to Seattle and Hawaii on that kind of stuff, but you don’t really go there to sign. You go to Sundance to sign.” Thuan sometimes reads the winners of regional contests. “Not everyone who could be a great screenwriter lives in L.A. You feel like you can cover a little more ground that way.” But don’t expect your third place win at the Pig’s Knuckles, Iowa, Screenwriting Contest to garner you much industry attention.

One fellow who’s more accessible than most is agent David Freedman. A founding partner of Moviefone, Freedman studied screenwriting at UCLA, then later realized, “I was very good at getting people to read my screenplays. I just wasn’t very good at getting people to like my screenplays.” But he did enjoy the marketing aspect of it. Freedman trained with agent Sara Margoshes of SMA and mentored with a friend from Gersh, then applied for his state license. The WGA approved him as signatory, and he formally opened Hollywood View Agency.
Freedman has wasted no time making a name for himself, and the town is taking notice. “When you go out and shop screenplays, you have to have really, really great material, and you have to hit a home run,” says Freedman. “Even if it’s not what (the buyer is) looking for, the very least they should say is, ‘This is a well-written script by a very good writer.’ It’s simply establishing credibility—David doesn’t waste your time.”

Freedman has been aggressively signing contest winners and established writers, but he’s also looking for new talent. He demands that you have a killer logline. “If you have that, then I ask for a 1-pager. If you have a killer logline and killer 1-page synopsis, I’ll read your script.” But Freedman warns that your logline should not contain any of the following words: “CIA, FBI, cop, virus, epidemic, Indian burial ground, Mafia, serial killer and everybody’s favorite, vampire. But if you happen to have a logline that contains all those words, please send it to me.” To find out more about Freedman, visit www.hollywood-view.com.

There you have it—queries generally don’t work, winning a contest may or may not amount to nothing, and you’re better off trying to get a manager or junior creative exec to read your script then let THEM get you an agent. In the meantime, keep rewriting! And, folks, please do not query any of the panelists in this column (except for Freedman.)